Is it 2012 yet??? If you’re like me you are all caught up in the holiday rush, shopping, baking, wrapping, and hoping it’s all done on time. So I put together 10 Steps that might help you have a Safer (Saner?) Holiday.

1. If you’re buying the “latest” technology for yourself or someone else, be sure you know what to do to make it secure (i.e. parental controls for youngsters, insurance for teens, and anti-virus for everyone). Taking the computer on the road this holiday?
2. Don’t feel intimidated by new technology – let someone show you. If it’s an employee – that’s what they get paid to do. If it’s your kids – they’ll think its fun to show mom and dad (or grandma) how to use something – plus those are good moments to talk about safe practices.
3. If you’re buying computer games, gaming systems, movies or software, be sure they are age-appropriate and think about agreements you might want to make about their use. (i.e. how long at one sitting, can you use the headset and “friend” strangers, and home rules apply no matter where you play or view).
4. Find time for yourself and your family to unwind and just be together.
5. Buy all gifts, but especially technology, from reputable sources. If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is!
6. Work with your family to update your privacy settings on social networking sites. Tips for Facebook.
7. Be sure if you use your credit card online that the site is encrypted and how their privacy policy applies to the storage and use of your personal information. More Hints on Online Shopping.
8. Don’t fall prey to unsolicited deals that magically pop up on your screen and seem to be “exactly what you’ve been looking for”!
9. Enjoy the season and your family and friends – they are the best gifts you’ll ever get.
10. And if you have a dollar or two left over, please donate to INOBTR because you want to
    help keep kids safe!

Have a Safe and Happy Holiday from all of us at
INOBTR

What I found out this week was  a great newsletter written by the team at the  Polly Klaas® Foundation. You may remember that Polly Klaus was a young girl in California, abducted from her own home during a pajama party. For nine excruciating weeks her parents and community looked for the young girl, ending in the sad discovery of her remains. This was the first time that the Internet played a role in trying to find a missing child. The Foundation nobly continues to this day to bring advice and resources to parents to keep their children safe.

Their recent newsletter talks about the devastation in Japan, but in a way that shows what is being done about it, how it has affected the children and then as importantly offers tips on how and when to talk to your children about what they’ve seen and heard.

“Here are some important tips on helping you and your family navigate these highly emotional major events:

• Every day, tell your children you love them. Address their fears of being separated from you by telling them that no matter what happens, you will always look for them no matter how long it takes. Tell them they can always ask for help in looking for you. 
• Make sure your children know your full name and cell phone numbers, and your address
• Children often seem to have a special bond with other children who are at risk. Encourage this sense of concern and compassion. Tell them the positive news that people around the world are responding with generosity and special help.

Click  Polly Klaus Newsletter to read it in its entirety or go to Polly Klaas® Foundation to sign up for their newsletter.

Don’t put the flag up on your mailbox to indicate to the postal worker that there is mail inside. That is a clear signal that perhaps you’re paying bills and there are signed checks (with your banking information) and account numbers of credit cards, loans, etc. included.  

Don’t respond to unsolicited emails from the IRS – trust me, they know your social security number, it’s a scam. (The same holds true for any unsolicited email from your bank, Paypal, eBay, your credit card company – none of these trusted sites are going to email you and suggest you update information through a link.) Use only the site where you normally log on, never link from an unsolicited email.

When someone asks you to use the last 4 digits of your social security number as your log on – say no. If it is an account you have signed up with and you have initiated the call, it is okay for verification. Never use it as your password or give it to someone who calls you. The last 4 digits are the key to who you are. The other numbers refer to your geographical location and such – a clever thief could figure those out.

Quick easy things to remember – but that’s what I found out this week to keep you safe.

 Look for it in your inbox, forward it to a friend, Retweet it on Twitter or “like” it on facebook, let’s share our knowledge.

Smart phones include GPS (Global Positioning System) technology. I love being in one of my favorite restaurants and using my phone to post “I’m having the Pasta Carbonara at Cunetto’s”. Immediately my facebook friends are jealous or pipe in about their favorite dish. When I’m traveling and looking for an Italian restaurant near my hotel. I activate “Around Me” or “Yelp”, my phone “reads” my location and then gives me options. Great technology, but when I’m with my godson in that restaurant and take his picture with my phone, GPS is tagging his picture with our location. When I post that picture through social media, the location of that picture can now be determined by people with the right know-how.  Now, I’m pretty sure no one is storming the restaurant to abduct my godson, but think of all the pictures we take at home, at school, etc. It’s an easy thing to remedy without turning off the GPS capabilities of your phone. Here are the directions for the iPhone (assuming other Smartphones are similar):

Open “Settings” – choose “General” – tap “Location Services” find “Camera” and click it OFF     = Done!

That was easy, but it also reminds us that however cool each new piece of technology is – we should know what we’re doing with it. Check the settings, think about the ramifications and if you’re posting pictures through social media, be sure you’ve marked your photos for Friends only, not friends of friends, or God forbid, “everyone”.

It just takes a minute to be safe, and that’s what I found out this week.

Barnes & Noble has planned the following activities for January: (we didn’t receive any money for this – it just looked too good not to share!)

• All Barnes & Noble stores will host a national story time event on Jan. 15 at 11 a.m.
• Jan. 15-23 will be Barnes & Noble Educator Appreciation Week, during which stores will have No Name-Calling Week materials available for teachers and educators, including book recommendations, tip sheets for organizing No Name-Calling Week events, lesson plans for elementary and middle school students, classroom posters and buttons.
• Several GLSEN Chapters – Orange County, Phoenix, Rochester, Southeast Michigan and Tampa, and more to be announced – will participate in in-store panel discussions during the week of Jan. 15-23.
• Barnes & Noble.com (www.bn.com/noname) will feature exclusive video content from bestselling children’s, young adult and adult authors discussing their thoughts and experiences on bullying.
• Exclusive No Name-Calling articles by James Howe and Jodi Picoult will be featured in the January line-up of the More In Store program available on NOOK, the Barnes & Noble eBook Reader. 

  And as one little boy wrote:

“My name is Daniel, not wimp or brat; it is not nice to call me that.  Don’t call anyone dumb, weak or lame; instead call them by their given name.”

Let me share the story of what took place at a local high school this week. I show a particular website that aggregates information from public records. Using myself, I share with them the amount of information that is deadly accurate and the equally scary inaccuracies. I’ve used this slide for several months now, but a unique thing happened that morning. As I was telling the story, one teen in the back of the room pulled out his iPhone and looked up his own name. It freaked him out sufficiently that he wanted to share it with the class. And it sparked a discussion about where the information could actually come from. I happened to be speaking at the school the entire day, so when I got to that same slide later in the day – one teen raised his hand and said ”you don’t need to go into that – we were all checking it out at lunch”.

You see, that is how our kids handle information – virally and electronically. What freaked out a few kids in the morning led to them telling everyone they saw and a flurry of activity at lunch.  It is the good news/bad news about teens today. A new video on YouTube gets passed around quicker than last night’s homework. An inappropriate picture of a classmate in the wrong hands becomes fodder for ridicule with the first text of the morning.  But, the thought that any stranger could check out things like the value of their home complete with number of bedrooms and bathrooms, whether they were republican or democrat and their home phone number and pictures…was something they wanted to tell everyone immediately.  And they did.

I don’t want to get carried away with the impact of the number of hits generated by those kids that day, but interestingly, the next day, this website changed what information it shared for free and what information was now only available for the $2.95 per month access fee. Coincidence – probably…but interesting.  However, the true lesson here is we need to be aware of the information about us that lives online. And we need to take our cues from our kids – check it out and then spread the word so you can protect your family. Here are just a few of the sites that contain information garnered from public records. It’s time for some Ego Surfing!

http://www.spokeo.com/name?g=name_bs_spokeo01

http://www.pipl.com/

http://www.zabasearch.com/advanced.php

http://www.peekyou.com/

Everyday Stuff:

8  Be sure you know how to use the school website for all your needs.

8  Homework assignments, lunch menus, holidays and sports schedules are all online these days. Be in the know –

8  Know your school’s policies on all issues, but especially technology – can you bring your cell phone to school, what is the policy on texting during recess, how do you report cyberbullying?

8  Be sure you know your teacher’s feelings about electronics and Internet use in the classroom and on homework assignments.

Homework Already?

8  Wikipedia is a good starting point, but remember that anyone can contribute to the definitions, check multiple sources to be sure your facts are correct.

8  Always use a search engine (Google, Bing, MSN, etc) and don’t just type in what you think a web address might be – you may find yourself in unpleasant territory.

8  When using a search engine, remember that the first few entries are “sponsored” or paid for, and may not be the best resource.

8  Notice when a site says “cached” – that information has been stored and may not be as accurate or timely as the day it was posted.

8  Know the copyright laws – if you didn’t write it, you can’t claim it as your own.

8   Learn how to give credit to the sources you use.

I Got an iPhone!

8  Are cell phones allowed at your school? Where can you keep them and when can they be turned on?

8  Don’t let someone use your cell phone when you’re not around – they could send an inappropriate message or picture and it will look like you sent it.

8  Avoid annoying spam, potential viruses and other things that could hurt your new laptop by adjusting the parental controls, virus protection and spam filters.

8  Be sure your backpack or laptop case is protective enough to handle the school bus or the backseat of your friend’s car.

8  Got a new iTouch or Game Boy – school is not the right place for those items, not to mention they are tempting for others to “borrow” and forget to return.

8  Check the privacy settings on all of your electronics, your profiles on Social Networking Sites (Facebook, MySpace, etc), gaming systems and cell phones. They may have changed and you want to be up to date.

New Faces, New Friends:

8  It is never smart to share passwords.

8  Always protect your personal information (birth date, phone number, address, etc).

8  While it is important to label your books, backpack, etc, be sure you don’t include sensitive information like passwords or social security numbers.

The Bullies are Back:

8  Bullying is NEVER okay.

8  Don’t respond to bullies, they are hoping for a reaction or for you to show fear.

8  Remember there is a difference between tattling and telling.

8  Stand together against bullying – a bully’s strength is one-on-one or when he/she can get others to join in the teasing. Stand with the victim instead and bullies lose their power.

8  Don’t retaliate – two wrongs never make a right.

8  Don’t take part in bullying – talking about, making fun of and being mean to others makes you a bully and not someone who others look up to or want to be around.

8  Encourage your friends to help stop bullying – the truly powerful person is someone who doesn’t belittle others just to make themselves feel good.

8  Know how to report an offline or online bully to the right person.

Make a Pact with your Parents:

If you help set the rules and stick to them – your parents will be more likely to appreciate your time online.

8  Agree to balance your online time with offline activities.

8  Make a deal on when homework has to be finished and the computer fun can begin.

8  Give your texting thumbs a rest by agreeing to set your phone aside for family time (telling mom about your day, at the dinner table, family conversations, etc).

8  Agree to use your computer, laptop or gaming system in a common room so it is obvious that you aren’t doing anything online that you shouldn’t.

8  Show your parents your Social Networking Profiles and get their opinion on what pictures are appropriate and which could lead to problems, what information you share and what is too much, and who you accept as friends. Have them help you with the privacy settings and show them how they could have a page and connect with their friends.

8  Be sure your online activities are age-appropriate and show your parents that as you get older, you can handle more responsibilities because you’ve learned to avoid the bad side of the Internet.  

The Teen Advisory Board of INOBTR took their message on the road in May by attending POINTFEST at Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre. This all day event, hosted by KPNT – The POINT, offered the teens a chance to sign up others for the INOBTR safety tips newsletter. Over 500 teens and young adults signed up for the monthly tips. The Teen Advisory Board, made possible by the support of the Dana Brown Charitable Trust, is made up of teens from around the St. Louis area. This event was a perfect outlet for INOBTR as Emmis Broadcasting, parent company of the POINT is also an ardent supporter of INOBTR by airing our radio PSAs on all of the sister stations in St. Louis. Thanks again to John Beck and all the folks at Emmis for their continued support.

May also found INOBTR leading a “Teens and Technology” track at the Missouri Juvenile Justice Association’s Spring Conference. The Mission of the MO. Juvenile Justice Association is to promote justice for children, youth and families. We were honored to be able to lead this track for Juvenile Officers, Prosecutors, and child advocates. There was a great exchange of what kids are doing online and how we can all help kids stay safe by staying up on technology and keeping the lines of communication open. Featured speakers in the track included: Lt. Joe Laramie, MO-ICAC, Detective Brigid Oldani and Detective Brian Mize from RCCEEG, Detective Lawrence McClain from the St. Charles Cyber Crime Unit, and Detective Andy Anderson from Mid-Missouri Cyber Crime Unit, Lisa Bell, MA – psychologist with Bell Psychological Services and Jerri Sites, MA, Child Protection Concepts. The Missouri Juvenile Justice Association is a great organization helping promote justice for the children of Missouri.

INOBTR combined with the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) at the Silicon Valley Internet Crimes Against Children Conference in San Jose, California to promote the National PSA campaign launched last November. Over 200 agencies received information on utilizing the PSA campaign in their community. Full information about the campaign can be seen at http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/ and the entire innovative program at  http://www.stopanonlinepredator.org/.

We know the economy has been a challenge to everyone and INOBTR has been seeking funding like all worthy charities.  Several stimulus packages, Federal Grants and opportunities were on the table and June became a month of grant writing. For many of those opportunities it is now a “wait and see” time. We know a lot of great organizations applied for these same grants. If you wish to make a tax-deductable donation to INOBTR – click here.

April 1^st marked this year’s CHARACTERplus Cyber Summit. Snow in December changed this to a spring event and everyone agreed that it was great. Read all about it on the newly created Cyber Teen Pages.  Here you’ll get to hear what teens from around the world are doing to keep their schools safe online. We’ve invited the teens from the Summit to get the ball rolling, but everyone is encouraged to share their ideas. Email cindy@inobtr.org  if you would like to share what you’re doing. Windsor High School was the first to share their ideas and they are already doing great things.

The Children’s Advocacy Services of Greater St. Louis held a 5k Run with a Family Fun Area on April 18^th.  INOBTR’s Teen Advisory Board manned an informational booth and talked to families about Internet Safety, encouraging them to sign up for the INOBTR tips newsletter. Other highlights included SafeKids “Road Wise” Safety Village, the Maryland Heights Fire Department and the always popular mascot of the St. Louis Baseball Cardinals – Fredbird.

Internet Safety Presentation Training continued with a full day of training at Glendale City Hall. Officers from several different municipalities and representatives from great community partners like Build-A-Bear Workshop, Charter Communications, and St. Louis Children’s Hospital took part in this training. Interested in a speaker for your community events in Missouri? Let us know and we’ll put you in touch with someone from your community. Email cindy@inobtr.org.

INOBTR has been visiting schools lately with great conversations with the teens from Eureka High School, parents and kids from Wydown Middle School (Clayton School District) and the great 4^th & 5^th graders from Craig Elementary School (Parkway School District). These teens and tweens help us learn more about what is going on in their virtual world and we can share with them the tips we’ve learned about the real world.

At Eureka High School, we surveyed teens about their Internet usage. We surveyed 57 teens (28 male, 29 female) with a median age of 17.5. Here are some of the results:

8                   39% spend 1-2 hours per day online   

8                   18% spend 2-3 hours per day online

8                   9% spend 5 or more hours per day online

That time was spent:

8                   58% catching up with friends daily     

8                   48% doing homework weekly

8                   39% looking for directions, information, weekly  

8                   23% hobbies, or other interests, daily

Cell phones are a way of life for teens:

8                   5% had no phone

8                   7% had only a basic phone

8                   88% had phones with other features: cameras, video, GPS & internet access

While 95% of the teens access the Internet from home, they also access the net at a multitude of other places, some without parental controls:

8                   65% at school

8                   50% at friends home

8                   30% through cell phone  

8                    21% through library

Social networking popularity, with several teens using more than one site:

8                   86% use Facebook 

8                   40% use MySpace

8                   24% use other sites like Bebo

8                   Only 7% did not have a social networking page

On those sites:

8                   47% had posted pictures of friends without asking first

8                   25% list their cell phone number

8                   41% have used it to list events and activities

8                   60% set their site to “private”

8                   55% have “friends” they don’t know in real life

8                   19% share their password with friends

8                   8% share their password with their parents

Of these teens

8                   18% admit to being cyberbullied

8                   11% admit to bullying

8                   17% admit to pretending to be someone else online

8                   17% have used someone else’s password without permission

8                   57% often download material from file sharing sites  

INOBTR will also take part in the following activities in April:

April 1 – Cyber Summit – Working Together to End Cyberbullying

   This is the second year for this great summit put on by CHARACTERplus for St. Louis area schools.

April 7 – Internet Safety: What Adults Need to Know

   This safety night will feature Lt. Joe Laramie (MO-ICAC) and other booths and vendors providing information on a variety of topics related to children’s computer and Internet use. Sponsored by Parkway Health & Technology Department at South Middle School 6:30 – 8:30pm

April 14 – Internet Safety Training at Big Brothers Big Sisters

   This training session is for staff at the BBBS facilities to give them more tools to help the kids they serve so well.

April 22 – Internet Safety Presentation Training

   This training is open to community leaders, law enforcement and child services personnel who want to be able to present Internet Safety Training messages in their community or work. Download Flyer